The Little Things

::Preamble::
I am blessed and cursed by the play and intricacies of the little eddies and whorls of events that encompass and provide constant causation for the unseen and unsung mechanics of this magnificent world. Lately I have been more blessed than cursed by these nearly minute circumstances. Tonight's post, while perhaps not quite an ode to the little things, is at least and certainly a celebration of how small objects, events and circumstances can so perceptibly describe and massively impact all of our lives. So to these things I write in grace, with humor and from observation.

~ Post Preamble ~

::Immediately::
It has been a long day with friends and good people. This is a time in LA when the evenings get cool. I shan't say "cold" because of my friends and brothers in far colder climes. It is nights like this when the temperature drops and I come home to a dark apartment, empty of presence save for my own. I come home, turn on the wall heater, and curl up to the warm blossom of radiating heat and let it open around me.

::Thumbs::
Thumbs. Little, fragile, important. Today, from the love of exercise and physical activity, my thumbs are bruised to a degree I've never seen. I've asked my trainer to begin incorporating reflex exercises into our sessions. We added a new weight exercise. Using two 2-lb weights, we take turns throwing the balls at each other at random directions. This involves diving low with one hand while stretching high with the other as two small weights are always in the air. From catching the hurled weights, in which the use of thumbs of is repeated, I have thumbs near doubled in size. Two of my smallest digits are now black and blue and as tender as a steak cooked medium well. Every minute I feel their injured presence with every flexion and
retraction.

::This is NOT Penis Cream::
I have spent my whole life as a jester and probably as also a fool in such a degree as is necessarily associated with jesters. My adult years have only tempered my jesterhood but ne'er will this be wrought out. If it should ever empty, please know that pod people have invaded and I am no longer in my right mind. In short, sometimes I'm an ass. A few weeks ago i ran out of checks. I needed checks to pay the rent. So a few weeks ago i visited my online bank dressed only in the finest garb that a bachelor does when online
banking: a t-shirt and a glass of milk (it was cold, i needed the shirt). While perusing the créme de la créme of today's elite world of online check art i noticed that i could also order a personalized rubber stamp with my address on it. Why, if I had a stamp with my name on it, I'd be somebody. I might even be famous someday. That logic degraded when it came time to listing my address for the personalized stamp production. This is what i ordered:
THIS IS NOT
- PENIS CREAM -
FROM SANTA MONICA, CA 90405
Oh, my address book is out of date. Please send me your current address so i can send Christmas cards.

Idea originated from Steve Martin as a skit on SNL. Thanks Steve!

::Crushes::
Does anyone know if Alanis Morissette is single yet? If you see her let her know that I'm totally cool and awesome. Oh, let her know I smell like roses but manly roses: like what you'd get if you mixed a bouquet of roses with gun oil. She probably doesn't like guns, so tell her it's from a sensitive gun. It feel really, really, really bad when fires a round and instead of bullets coming out a flag appears that says "Hey, I'm totally sorry for scaring you, but you did break in to my house and that was naughty. Now be a good lad and call the police while I pour us some tea." On second thought... that's awkward. Just tell her I say "hi."

::Doughnut or Donate::
The local Albertson's is not unique save for it's location. The halls exceed at creating such a manifest beigeness that it's difficult to recall specific details. I dare say the past sentence was more exciting in explaining the store's passive presence than the it's use of mute beige. While in line to purchase my goods, at the last moment possible to add an item of purchase to my list, i look over and see a laminated sheet with bar codes for $1, $5, or $10. Ah! Of course, it's seasonal donation time at Albertson's. I ask if it's too late to donate and he says "No! There is still time. What would you like?"
"I'd like to donate please."
"How much?"
"Five dollars please."
He rings me up, hands me the receipt and says i can pick up my items over there. His hand gently pushes the air in a direction behind me. I am confused. I dont't think i'm supposed to get anything for donating.
He now points to a location on the receipt and shows me where i've made my purchase of five doughnuts. We have a minor back and forth to clarify any miscommunications in the end I decide that the hassle isn't worth having him refund the doughnuts and charge me for a donation. I can just as easily give away doughnuts as I can dollars. So I have 5 sugary, stale sweets - that kind of stale, sweet stickiness that congeals after too many hours in the air and not enough hours in tummies. I ask the cashier what donut he would like. Any doughnut is fine with him. One down, four to go.

::The Current Word Processor and Self Publishing::
This entire missive, and many others like both published and unpublished, is written on two small devices and requires two pieces of software. The total weight of the hardware may be as heavy as two pounds but it feels like that like less a half. The iPhone is the heaviest component as it carries all the brains. The wireless keyboard though greater in volume weighs noticeably less. The software I use to write with is an iPhone app called "Office 2." It cost me about $3. The other piece of software used is "blogger.com" at a mere zero dollars and zero cents. The phone I bought used at $100 and the keyboard, new, at $80.

::A Final Image::
A candid snapshot at the company holiday party this year, disco themed. Can you dig it?

Two Circumstances

:: Necessary Preamble ::
   Greetings... I've been remiss as of late in sending out updates of the postings. The last mass messaged posting related to an impending time zone change for the city of San Francisco. This was my addition to this year's April Fools tomfoolery. Shortly after that I posted a follow up blog describing where exactly the comedy was in the April Fools day post. This later followed by a rousing post about the taste of oatmeal and which artistic endeavor was most similar to the bland sludge that is McDonald's oatmeal.



There have been many goings on of late. Work is going well. I have a distinguished collection of vodkas, which I hope, would be proof to anyone with even an inclination toward the clear, Russian indulgence that Grey Goose is not the best in vodkas. Some people are snooty about beers, and many more about their wines, whereas a few of us (outside of Russia) prefer a sip or two of vodka chilled from the hoary frost of the darkest tundra (aka your freezer, in modern parlance).

In the past year I have travelled to strange lands (Las Vegas) and foreign shores (Madrid and Berlin/Potsdam). I have slain mighty beasts (the little flies that accumulate in the garbage when you forget to take it out) and constructed a chamber so sumptuous as to light the hidden fires of even the most modest of women (it’s a nice bed really made from 2”x6” boards with a lovely, embroidered fabric on top... and its affect on the elegant gender... ummm, I may have indulged in just a wee amount of hyperbole... okay, I lied. Totally.)

The First Circumstance...
Two new circumstances are occurring in Life at this moment that seemed to have crept out from nowhere. I’m often a rambling, roving, unsettled kind of guy. I’ll move one place for a while then another and another and another, never staying long enough to leave an indelible mark on the physical location but just long enough to make lifetime friends. With as much moving as I’ve done, I can do that pretty quickly by now. Don’t worry, it’s not a race, but I would totally win. With all seriousness, or at least as much as I can muster, I’ve decided to chart one of these very important, newly arrived, Life circumstances using a rubber chicken graph. The first newly arrived circumstance is that of nesting. The rubber chicken graph below clearly explains my nesting trends over the past eighteen years.

“The Rubber Chicken Graph, originally conceived by Steve Martin. In this graph we see the largest rubber chicken with boxing gloves represents the nesting trend while in California. It’s important to note the position of the cloud in relation to the sun.”

The Second Circumstance...
The second, and equally impactful Life circumstance to surface recently, is an old habit which I’d enjoyed most of my Life and over the past 10 years I’d lost track of, my art. I won’t write much about it as conversation about art is never a good replacement for art.
The first set of illustrations are a series of portraits I’ve been working on

The next set of illustrations shows a progression of images from initial sketches to current state.

~ Game Art ~
Some friends and I are working on a game for cell phones. What follows is a series of illustrations from the early art phase of the game. The first set is a series of random character studies.

The next set is from the same game set, but are a series of vehicle illustrations.

~ A Tattoo for a Friend ~
A friend of mine has asked me to design a tattoo for him. It will eventually end up on his right arm. It is based largely on symbols used throughout the Dark Tower series, by Steven King. It's still a work in progress, as are most of the illustrations in this post, but it's a welcome start to an old practice.

Lastly, the beginning of what may, or may not, turn out to be a comic... (done with pencil, and art markers on watercolor paper)