Sunday, January 1, 2012

Artist and Bon Vivant: Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV

Tonight's post is written from and with love and brings what I hope to be some lighthearted laughs at the spontaneity of a child's newly maturing sense of humor.
I wish, I wish, I wish I had the wherewithal or imagination to write tonight's entry. Were I to give credit to where credit is due, for the first section in tonight's post, I would credit my friend and his five year old son. I won't use his son's real name here, so instead I'll refer to him as "Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV." Though not a blood relative of mine, Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV is like a nephew to me and his sister is my Goddaughter. In an odd turn of events, I am their father's father.
The first section in tonight's post is a retelling of a dinner conversation at my friend's dinner table. In this conversation Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV references his "Andy Watching Eye." Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV will tell his father that he can keep an eye on me all the way from Chicago. This keeps me safe and I am grateful for Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV watching over me, from Chicago, with his "Andy Watching Eye." He's been known to see me on the beach, or after earthquakes.
The second section, shows a visual comparison of a drawing, of me, by Tito Margolis Van Amsterdam O'Shaunessy IV against an actual photo of me.

::That Which Succeeds the Preamble::
As told by my friend / son about his son, my nephew...
So last night we are having beef.  I'm certain it was.  My wife cooked, so it was absolutely amazing.  Tito is farting around with his dinner as usual.  I finally say:
(Dad) "Look…you need to eat that or you will never be big and strong."
(Son) "What makes me big and strong?"
(D) The meat and the veggies.
(S) This?
(D) Yes.
(S) How much should I eat?
(D) Depends on how big and strong you want to be.
(S) Really big and really strong.
(D) Probably all of it.
(S) Then will I be big and strong like you?
(D) Strong yes, but don’t eat too many sweets or you will be big like me.
(S) No, I want to be strong like you, but big like Andy.
(D )Well Andy is not big, he is skinny.
(S) No, not like that, I meant BIG.  Like he is so tall.  He touches the ceiling with his head.
(D) Really?
(S) Oh yea.  He is huge.  He is like a giant. Last time he was here, he left marks on the ceiling with his head.
(D) Really? Wow. How is he doing, Tito?
(S) I don’t know.  I haven’t checked in a while.
(D) Can you check please? 
(S) Sure.  I need to go to the bathroom and put my Andy watching eye in. 
(D) OK, be sure to wash your hands.

-Tito leaves for bathroom…we here sounds like bzzzzz clang clang clang bzzzzz (similar to transformers)

(S) OK I got it in.
(D) Did you wash your hands.
(S) I used Alcohol.
(D) Oh, OK.  So how is Andy?
(S) Oh no.
(D) Oh no?  What is going on Tito?
(S) He ate too much beef.
(D) Huh?
(S) Dad, he grew huge!  He busted down his building and is walking through the city.
(D) Oh no.  Is he breaking things?
(S) Kinda, because he is so tall.  He has airplanes around his head.
(D) Like King Kong?
(S) -laughs- Yea! Just like that.  They think he is a gorilla because he is so tall and hairy!
(D) -now I am laughing- Oh wow!  Are they shooting at him?
(S) No, he is a friendly tall hairy gorilla.
(D) He is a gorilla?
(S) Well, he isn’t a gorilla, he just looks like one.
(D) Are you sure you have the correct eye in?
(S) Let me go check.
-Tito runs into the bathroom, more transformer sounds.
(D) Did you wash your hands?
(S) No, I used alcohol.
(D) OK.  Was it the right eye?
(S) No, I have the right one in now.  That one was my King Kong watching eye.
(D) So what is Andy doing?
(S) Oh not much.  He is just watching some TV.
(D) Oh…ok.      ….    ….   How many eyes do you have?
(S) Lots. 
(D) Like a spider?
(S) Yes.
(D) That is gross.
-         Tito Laughs- finishes dinner.

::Comparison of Artist's Rendering to Actual Photograph ::
A few weeks I received an image which Tito himself drew. It's a portrait of me wearing my well known fedora. In order analyze the visual accuracy of Tito's artistic rendering I've created side by side comparisons of the rendering to an actual photo. It may be difficult to tell the differences between the two, so in the second image I've labeled some of the differences between the drawing and the photo.

The two images are amazingly similar which I think stems from the similarities of the hat. Unexpectedly, there are more differences then you may have originally noticed. You'll see from the photo that I actually have no abdomen whereas in the artist's rendering I have cloven hooves for feet, yellow hose, a purple sundress and a bullet hole.


  1. Long names aside and the long-enough intro that I almost didn't even clicky the link from my email, I'm glad I jumped in to read, see, and decipher this imaginative spin on growing BIG vs. tall. Sometimes your tales are too much for my brain to handle, but this one I liked. :-)

    Cheers, -your tall gal pal, -Sunny

  2. Thanks Sunny!

    After reading through the post again I could certainly reduce the number of times I use the full name which would make it easier to read. Thanks for the comment my Tall Gal Pal! And doubly thanks for stopping in. It's always great to hear from you.