Sunday, September 7, 2014

Being born into a new world

In the Beginning...

You had a very long, lazy and uneventful gestation period. You were healthy from the beginning and every step of the way you, and the assemblage of necessary birthing tissue and organs, were healthy. Your heart rate was always in the proper range and it filled me with deep love to hear your heart through the sonogram. Your pops almost cried that first time he heard your heart. In a sonogram all I could see was a mass of grey noise, as undifferentiated tissue, that was pulsing in rhythm. It is literally magic because most people really don't know how the process of gestation produces a living, sentient being. 


First, you should know that your mother is an Amazon warrior of birthing. She produced a large and healthy baby and did so while making some of the best decisions for your health, largely being as natural and drug free as possible (this keeps the strong pain medicine from entering your body). Your mom loves you dearly and put your well being ahead of her own comfort and pain. I am in awe of your mom and respect her greatly for her dedication and her choices. 
Your dad played a small role and that was to apply counter pressure to your mom's hips while she was having contractions; she only needed me for the last five hours, starting at 2:45am. At one point the nurse walked in and saw me sitting in the labor bed, shirt off, with your mom laying against me. The lights were dim and she first said: "Aww, you guys are so cute." Then she saw the reason for it as i pressed against her hips during a contraction, opening them with pressure. She then responded with "I have never seen this before."

The First Day...

You slept more than you ate. When awake, you were peaceful. I cried that night out of joy at having a healthy son. I am unequal to the task of putting to word the depth of my love for you. So, i will have to express it through the time we spend together and one day I hope you will know.
The doctors came by and tested you in various ways. Your were regularly nonplussed by each of these intrusive visits.

Pictures of the Little Man...

Here are some great pictures of my newborn son. Daddy is so proud of him and can't wait to show him off. Please note: All identities have been masked, or professionally altered, to protect the innocent.
You are so cute. This was taken right after you were born. Look at your cute, chubby cheeks.
Here's a family photo of you guys at your first doctor's appointment

You are more handsome than your father. It's obvious from these photos.

Day 3...

Today you gave me your biggest smile. It was clear that you were asleep as your face ran a not narrow gamut of expressions illuminating what must be a boiling brew of sensations and feelings. When you express joy, i am joyed. In your crying i am saddened. It is not that i am sad but instead attuned to your expressed feeling in that moment. I feel your ache while concurrently feeling the joy and pride that your life opens the door to.

Day 3, Night...

For months now I've been looking forward to reading to you every night at bedtime. I've been expecting that I'd read some dense books in the beginning because it's very likely you can't understand me (obviously i can't say this with certainty, but only a strong belief based on prior education). So yesterday we started with a classic work, Hop on Pop. That went by too fast, so i broke out Foundation, by Asimov. Currently Gaal has just met Seldon for the first time and Seldon shared his conclusion of Trantor's fate via psychohistorical calculations.
You ended up staring at your arms, sticking out your tongue, and occasionally blinking through most of this section. In truth, you were agog with the mystery of self discovery through the veil of newborn awareness. You may not remember this book, but i will remember this time together as one of bonding and joy.
Also, you made some great presents for daddy, so we had to change your diaper; the plumbing is working and daddy is happy you're healthy.

Day Four...  

Today you made more presents for daddy. In fact, while changing your diaper, you gave daddy a front row seat to how you make daddy's presents. You just bubbled out a fresh one for papa, right there, no shame. Just Poop... High five!

Teaching Moment...

First, be kind to people. The human race is such a maelstrom of misdirected cacophonies with personal dramas belying the insincerity that so many people try to hide. But beneath this veneer of discord is an even deeper truth and that is simply that everyone is trying to do the best they can with what they have and what they believe to be correct, even if that belief changes like a leaf in a storm. So, have patience because it is hard to be alive and living and yearning and wanting and trying - and to do all of this without a manual on "Life." Just as i have no "Daddy" manual, you will have no "Life" manual (though i hope and plan  to be of great assistance in this area, to you). This brings me to my second point. 
Consider that while no one has a manual on "Life," everyone seems to live it. In essence, in a lack of structure or guidance we create our own lives despite their being no rule book on how to do this. Some people have made their own rule books to tell others that these are the rules! But, even this was created. So, humankind, when standing in the middle of a void can create new things that once did not exist. One of the greatest expressions of creation are the quests for purpose, meaning and enlightenment. Consider mathematics, art, architecture, textiles, spoons, bread, accounting, plumbing, televisions, pizza, rocket ships, language and the internet. At one point in human history, these things did not exist.
So on this second point, It occurs to me to consider what makes us so distinct from the rest of the animals on the planet (and make no mistake, we are animals of the wild, despite our willful self-segregation from nature). We are not faster, larger, stronger, smaller, nor meaner (smarter is generally accepted but also debatable). I believe that what separates us from other animals, aside from our self-segregation, is our ability and willingness to create. We are, daily, creation machines.
You are, and have been since your birth, a creator. As you age and mature, you will hone your abilities to create, or I have failed you in this aspect. I will teach you not just how to create but how to avoid creating certain (even detrimental) things, events and circumstances. Because every human is a creator, every human has power and ability to bring about their vision of the world, and these visions often conflict. An untrained creator makes joy or pain, loss or wealth, life or death, without fully knowing what they did, how they did it, or appreciating their ability and actions; in this style of living there exists diminished choice or a perception of no choice, or of being trapped. I wish for you peace, strength and an awareness to clearly choose what you will create. It could be said that this is the very difference between a child and an adult.

I love you young Master Britton.

PS. We are now on page 37 of Foundation, where Gaal and Seldon are being tried in a questionable court proceeding by hostile interests. The point here is that justice is not fully present and such is the state of the declining Empire. Seldon predicts 300 years before Trantor falls. Uh oh!!! You will still be trying to put your fingers in your mouth for a while longer. Perhaps by the time we start the second book you will be learning how to put your toes in your mouth; only time will tell.


  1. You are going to be the most awesomest of fathers!!! One day you will have to introduce your little one to King Arthur. Love you and miss you bunches.

  2. Thanks Death. More son will certainly know the kindness and grace you showed me and how that made a large difference for me. I can't thank you enough and am happy that we are still friends.

  3. You are a miracle as a father and his son. You have given me so much joy in my life and I've learned so much from you. Love mom