:: Necessary Preamble ::
Alright... this may be the most grammatically incorrect and generally least editing entry I've yet made. However, it is late... Very late and I have an early flight to catch to San Francisco. I write this tonight because I was so moved by an unexpected surprise from a dear friend of mine that it seemed to wrap a nice bow around some of the thoughts floating through my head lately.
So please, as much as you can dear reader, find compassion in your heart for this most certainly paltry entry into the general entry of blogs, posts, and missives now abundant among the internet.
The Beginning of Romance
Usually the months of blossoming romance tend to lie in the crisp, autumn air for me. There’s a pull in the chilled air towards holding someone close, and feeling the warmth of a woman beneath soft sweaters. Even women answer the call of autumn’s affect by dressing in warm colors, soft fabrics. It is a time when fashions balance between summer’s flirtations and winter’s soul-hammering and lifeless drudgery. Between these two seasons lay an elegance from which many fall fashions are hewn and sown.
This year though, being my first year in Los Angeles (specifically in Santa Monica), with fall being a blur and traditional seasonal temperatures not being practiced by Angelenos nor the Pacific air rolling in, I find my seasonal variances are somewhat askew. Having travelled from one place to another for the better part of my Life there aren’t many seasonal variances to which I grew into habit or anticipation. Of the two that come to mind are being able to smell when snow would come a day before it arrived, and becoming giddy and flirtatious as the year rounded the August-September corner and headed quietly in to October. Anyone who has a passing understanding of the weather in the Los Angeles area knows that these two habits will quickly become vestigial. The air of romance this year started in February, a most unusual place for it to start. There are reasons to believe that perhaps what the ghosts of foreign seasons failed to incite, certain environmental and socio-economic factors may be delivering on.
Environmental Factors: 1. Los Angeles, 2. The Beach, 3. The Sun, 4. Hollywood, 5. “Snow? Oh yeah, I’ve seen it in movies, but we make that with soap flakes anyway.” There’s not much to say here. People enjoy the sun because it’s often in plain sight. The beach isn’t far behind. It is reasonable to tan on the beach in February here. I know this, because I have... while reading The Dark Tower series.
Socio-Economic Factors: 1. Full Time Job, 2. New friends, 3. The Gym, 4. I’m not moving anytime soon, 5. Active nightlife, 6. A reduction in personal debt through fiscal responsibility, 7. The Beach. Yes, the beach is both an environmental factor and a socio-economic factor. Living a mile and a half from the beach is amazing. There’s no other way to slice that turkey. The summation of these factors is indicating an ease in personal woes and exterior pressures. Because these factors seem to all be playing together, simultaneously, I’m beginning to think it’s freeing up my romantic soul from its autumnal confine and allowing it to breath deeper in expanded seasons.
You can’t always get what you want - Paper Airplanes
I’ve thought long and hard over my approach to dating, romance and relating to women who make batty eyelashes at me which then turns off the thinky parts in my head until I drool nonsense words from my mouth spigot. What causes a man to run headlong into enemy territory where the foe has superior guile and flirty bits that make howling, drool spigots out of otherwise fine, upstanding men? Boobs.
Every man has his approach, some of which are refined year after year, as a sculptor may carve away at wood until a final masterpiece arises. I’m still figuring out exactly how I do this whole flirting thing. In the past I’ve tried reticence, gloominess, sarcasm, awkwardness, loneliness, desperation and even a spot of humor to glam the pretty ladies into my love snare. I’ve tried only flirting with one woman at a time with plenty of time between flirtations to pass a baseball season or two. I remember once I tried getting married, and though I’ll try it again that particular approach is going to sit on the shelf for a long.... loooong time.
I think I’m now of the opinion that brooding hasn’t worked. It’s time to fly paper airplanes. The more I think about this metaphor the more I find it illustrates certain truth in approach, or circumstance. Imagine for every girl or boy you meet, you throw a paper airplane into the air. Eventually, every paper airplane lands; how and when they land are determining factors in deciding which paper airplane is the right one. In case you’re confused, just assume that one paper airplane equals one tenuous courtship. As I meet more interesting women with flirty bits I sometimes decide to take a small chance and see where communication will go. So, I make an airplane and let it loose. I find the having multiple airplanes in flight is desirable in finding someone I can share my autumn moods with. As I launch a paper plane into the air I’m usually very excited and the first two days of watching a plane in flight is exciting and exhausting because of the ten-fold increase in excitement. As time continues, flying paper airplanes becomes largely an act of observation. Some airplanes fly beautiful at first; as they fly through the air I’m convinced at times that this Is the paper airplane I’ve been looking for. It’s perfect in flight, elegance, stability and design. Oh thank God! And then about 30 seconds later, the airplane can change direction, sometimes turning nadir and crashing in a fantastic college ruled explosion. Once the paper flames are put out and I’ve paid the ER bill, it’s time to fly another plane. Some planes just aren’t appealing and yet they fly surprisingly gracefully. This is confusing. Some planes are beautiful and fly beautifully, as fluid and magical as golden hair in the setting sun. As the paper airplane with golden hair flies gracefully through the air I notice it sometimes keep flying further and further and further away until I can’t see it anymore. Of course some airplanes are the opposite and no matter how hard you through them away they crash right at your feet and won’t budge. Every once in a while there’s a paper airplane that seems to just somehow stay in the air. It may fly out of sight for a while, but then return in your airspace without notice. It won’t land. It won’t crash. In effect, it won’t decide its course but to hover and hover and wait.
As it relates to keeping an occupied airspace, too many paper airplanes in the air at once and there’s not enough mental energy to focus on any of them. Air Traffic control gets too confused and then they all crash. Too few paper airplanes and they are easily weighed down from flight by expectations and desperation, very heavy passengers indeed. Good Air Traffic control prevents two planes from colliding before their paths are complete.
I’ve enjoyed meeting enough interesting people to alight more paper airplanes then I’ve done before. And still, Air Traffic Control has yet to see a plane of good presentation and graceful flight land close enough to see how further flights will go. I have hopefuls, but hope tonight is my bed fellow and not the warm form and curves of a vibrant human.
But if you try sometimes you get what you need
Walking home tonight from work, I had 3 miles to be with myself and take in my new corner of the planet. I had plenty of time to think about paper airplanes and the lovely women behind them. Upon arriving at my home after a late night at work, still hoping for an airplane to land if even for a bit, I found a box on my doorstep. Inside the box is what you see below... only more of them. I want to thank Liz Howard for reminding me that while I can’t always get what I want, I can still get what I need. Thank you for the hilarious, unpredictable and delicious gift: Star Wars Cookies!!!